


It’s a Wonderful Life

by plisetskytrash, victurius



Series: The 12 Days of Christmas [9]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, Christmas, Christmas Miracles, Crying, Depression, Drowning, Fate, Fate & Destiny, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Victor Nikiforov, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Sad Katsuki Yuuri, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Hatred, Skater Victor Nikiforov, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Supportive Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 12:22:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17161913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plisetskytrash/pseuds/plisetskytrash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/victurius/pseuds/victurius
Summary: When Victor takes Makkachin out for her evening walk on Christmas Eve, he doesn’t expect to find a suicidal stranger hanging off the pier. But what can he do for a beautiful, young Japanese man who feels like he’s lost everything?





	It’s a Wonderful Life

**Author's Note:**

> Serious trigger warnings ahead for suicide, depression, and suicide attempts! You have been warned. Take care of yourself while reading this! Curl up with a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate, but don’t worry there is a happy ending.

Late at night on a cold Christmas Eve in Detroit, Victor Nikiforov was thinking about his life. He knew he was living his life to the fullest and as he walked his little best friend, Makkachin, he happily thought about all the things he had to be grateful for. He let Makkachin pull him along, taking him down a route they didn’t normally travel together, down towards the pier. Viktor didn’t mind, he was just happy to have more time with his poodle. This year had been a blessing, it had been his last year skating competitively and he had won his fifth gold, he had just moved to America, had opened his own ice rink, and he was loving life. He had a great life and sometimes he knew he took that for granted. He was very fortunate. He never had money problems and he had great friends; he had never been unhappy with what he had been dealt in life.

He was pulled out of his own reverie by the insistent and repeated pulling of his poodle. He called out for Makkachin to heel since she was pulling him away from the sidewalk and towards the pier. “There’s nothing there for you, Makka!” he insisted with a roll of his eyes, but the poodle wouldn’t relent. “Fine, fine.” He turned on his heel to walk in the direction of the river. _She must have seen a gull or something_ , Victor reasoned as he absent-mindedly followed behind the strange dog.

When she barked, Victor knew something was amiss.

His head shot up and he couldn’t believe what he saw. Someone was standing and leaning over the edge of the rail. Their eyes were fixated on the deep, dark waters below and it was clear to anyone with an ounce of sense that they were contemplating jumping. Victor’s eyes widened and he let go of Makkachin, her lead dropping to the floor as he ran down the length of the pier.

“Hey!” he called, his arms flying wildly as he attempted to catch the person’s attention.

The figure turned and Viktor’s breath caught in his throat. A young man, no older than in his early twenties, and impossibly beautiful, sent him a look so sad that Victor felt it physically hurt his chest before he let go and leapt off the pier.

Victor screamed and in complete shock he let his body take over, an instinct overpowering him as he ripped his coat off, pulled his jumper over his head, and then climbed over the rail. He took a deep breath and then jumped.

The water was like ice when he hit the surface, but luckily Victor was used to freezing cold conditions from years of training on the ice so it wasn’t too much of a shock—he had managed to brace himself for it. He swam up towards to surface, and in a panic, he twisted around in the water, looking for the young man.

“Hello?!” he yelled, looking furiously around him in the dark.

Viktor finally saw a figure not too far from him and he swam over. The guy was unconscious and sinking. He clearly couldn’t swim. He could hear Makkachin barking somewhere in the distance. He grabbed the young man with only one thought in mind: getting this guy to the shore. He swam, struggling with the extra weight, but luckily, he had always been a very strong swimmer. It was so dark under the pier that he couldn’t see even a metre in front of him. He concentrated on the sound of his dog barking and he pushed through the struggle until finally, his feet hit the sand and he could stand. Makkachin appeared next to him, dragging him by his sleeve and whimpering.

Viktor gasped and coughed and he was so cold that his limbs felt numb, but he dragged the young man to dry land. He collapsed and the two of them fell to the sand. He struggled up and then smacked the guy’s face gently. “Hey, hey, hey!?” he yelled, shaking him but there was no response. “Shit,” he cursed, he was not sure if he was breathing.

Viktor pressed his hands over the guy's chest, linking his fingers together and then he pressed down hard, delivering chest compressions but it seemed in vain. He kept looking at his face but he stayed pale and completely unresponsive. Viktor was really starting to panic. His phone was on the pier above him, in his coat pocket and the beach was empty—there was not a soul in sight. Makkachin was pawing at the guy’s body and Viktor worried that he was going to die, but he couldn’t leave him to go and get help—what if he left and he died?!

He took a deep breath, gripped the guy's jaw, and then closed his mouth over him while squeezing his nose at the same time. It took a few tries before Victor felt the guy start to choke and sea water was sprayed back over his face. The guy sat up, choking and gasping for breath and he grabbed at Victor, looking terrified. He babbled in what Victor assumed was Japanese and then burst into tears, throwing his arms around him and sobbing.

Makkachin started licking over their faces, the poor girl confused about what was happening. “Vicchan?” the stranger asked, blinking confused at the dog for a few minutes before crying even harder as he examined the dog.

Victor had been prepared to yell at him, curse him, fume at him what the hell he was playing at but as he clung to Victor, soaking wet and vulnerable, he could do nothing but try and comfort him. He shushed him, rubbing his back and muttering comforting words at him, though he wasn’t sure if it was for nothing. He didn’t know if he even spoke a word of English. Nevertheless, Victor rocked him, letting the guy sob into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry!” the man eventually managed to get out in English and Victor pulled out the embrace and looked at him, happy that he could understand what he was telling him.

“Come on, stand for me,” Victor urged and helped him pull him to his feet. The two of them stumbled up the sand, the Japanese man still hanging off him and Makkachin trailing after the two of them. Victor dragged him to his car and deposited him on the floor. “Don’t move, please, just give me a minute,” he said, hesitating before he ran back to the pier. He grabbed his coat and jumper and ran back, relieved to see that the man had not moved. He remained on the floor and sobbed to himself.

Victor opened his car with a click of his key and he helped the man into his passenger seat. He let Makkachin into the boot of the car and then ran back around to climb inside himself. He turned the heating on. He sat there in silence, not really sure what to say. It wasn’t every day that you saved someone’s life after they tried to kill themselves. It was a lot for Victor to process. He could hardly believe what had just happened.

“I… Thank you, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m humiliated.” The young man stared at his hands, trembling from the cold and clearly embarrassed. He looked like his heart was breaking and Victor wondered what had happened that he had thought that suicide was his only option.

“I…” Victor’s words failed him. “I should take you to the hospital,” he said, starting the car and pulling out of the parking space. “You’re probably injured, we should get you checked over—”

“No, please!” the young man begged. “I don’t have insurance, I…” He trailed off, bursting into a fresh set of tears, his shoulders shaking. “I can’t afford to see a doctor. I just lost my job, my boyfriend just broke up with me and kicked me out. I have nowhere to go… I…” He looked panicked and his hands went to the door handle. For a moment, Victor’s heart was in his mouth as the image of the stranger opening the door while the car was moving flashed through his mind. He quickly hit the lock. The man turned to him, looking betrayed.

“Please, where are you taking me?” he asked.

Victor didn’t have the answer. He honestly was just driving towards his house. “I-I don’t know. I just…” Victor couldn’t leave him, what if he hurt himself again? If he was telling the truth, where would he go? He was basically homeless. He would probably get sick from the cold if he let him out the car. Victor looked him over, taking in everything about him, he looked decent enough, just like a normal guy who had fallen on hard times. Victor didn’t think he was a danger, well, to anyone else. This guy was clearly a danger to himself and leaving him could only end in disaster.

“I don’t know what to do!” he was sobbing and Victor took pity on him. “You should have just let me drown...”

“No!” Victor shouted, shocked at what was coming out of the young man’s mouth. “I would have never let you drown! I…” He sighed and then indicated, deciding that he would in fact take him to his house. “Come with me,” he said. “I don’t live too far. You can have a warm bath and I’ll get you some food, a place to stay for the night. No one should be alone on Christmas Eve.”

“No, I… You can’t do that, I’m a complete stranger, why would you let me into your home? I’ll be fine. Just let me out here… I’ll…” He trailed off and Victor was quite sure that he didn’t know how he was going to finish that sentence.

“You’ll what?” he asked, softly. “Go and jump off the pier again?” Victor sighed. “If you don’t want me to take you to my house, then I guess we’ll have to sit here all night in these wet clothes.” He pulled the car over, stopping at the edge of the road and he folded his arms stubbornly. “It’s a shame,” he continued, “my dog will be hungry.”

“No, I—” The man glanced into the back of the car where the poodle was looking between the two of them and pawing at the metal bars which stopped him from jumping through to the seats. He looked like he felt guilty and Victor realised that Makkachin might be a good way to talk to sense into this guy.

“This is Makkachin,” he introduced, “and I am her slave, Victor.” He let out a small chuckle. “Would you like to tell me your name?” he asked gently.

“I… God, this is embarrassing, I promise I’m not normally this insane, I’m just going through a really hard time right now,” he replied in a choked voice.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Victor replied as if he was talking to a spooked animal. “I understand.” He smiled at him kindly.

“My name is Yuuri,” he replied, his face screwing up in emotion as fresh tears splashed down his face.

“Right, well now we all know each other, we aren’t strangers anymore. So, it’s acceptable for me to make you some dinner.” Yuuri looked like he wanted to protest, but Victor interrupted him, “Makkachin would love to have you over.”

Finally, Yuuri nodded and reluctantly agreed, so Victor started the car again. “I’m so sorry about your seats,” Yuuri muttered, looking at the mess from all the sand and sea water. 

Victor shrugged as he pulled back onto the road and headed towards his house. “It doesn’t matter, it can be cleaned.” He didn’t want Yuuri to think that something superficial like that was a burden.

Luckily, Victor only lived about twenty minutes away and the two of them made small talk as he drove. Yuuri cried most the way and he looked very weak and fed up with everything, Victor had never seen someone so sad before. But he guessed if he lost his boyfriend and his job, plus his home all at once, he would probably be down about life too. It felt like Yuuri had so little and Victor had so much, how was life so unfair?

He led Yuuri up to his house and ushered him inside. He turned the heating on as soon as he could and stripped down to his underwear right there in the hallway. Yuuri looked at him with wide eyes, but Victor gestured for him to stay where he was. He ran up the stairs and grabbed a load of towels, wrapping Yuuri into them on his return. He then led him to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

“Please, clean yourself and I will get you something to wear for you.” Victor hesitated. “You won’t… You won’t do anything if I leave you alone, will you?” 

Yuuri looked at him surprised, a guilty expression on his face. “Maybe… maybe you can stay?” he asked, staring at the floor. 

Victor’s heart ached and he swallowed thickly. “Okay, just… get in the shower and I’ll go get some clothes, I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Yuuri nodded slowly, looking like he was about to burst into tears again. “Okay,” he mumbled, sounding broken.

Victor left him with tears in his eyes and hurriedly looked around his bedroom for something comfortable for the man to wear. He found a pair of soft jogging bottoms, some underwear, socks, a t-shirt and hoody. He thought about how he didn’t have a home to go to… He wanted him to be warm, at least.

When Victor returned to the bathroom, he was pleased to see that Yuuri had disappeared behind the shower curtain and it sounded as if he was washing himself, the sweet smell of his body wash filled the bathroom. Victor placed the clean clothes on the counter and then reached for Yuuri’s soaking wet, sand-filled ones, they were so wet still that they had soaked the floor. He grabbed the lid off his laundry bin and turned it upside down, gathering the soiled clothes there ready to wash and dry them. 

When he had run out of things to do to keep him busy, he put the lid down on the toilet and sat, freezing cold in his underwear and realised for the first time that his skin was like ice. He grabbed a towel off the heated rail and wrapped himself in it.

“I appreciate you helping me, thank you, you didn’t have to,” came Yuuri’s voice from behind the curtain.

“No, I-I really did have to. But it’s no trouble,” Victor replied honestly. He would do the same for anyone, but there was something special about Yuuri, he could feel it in his heart, he was meant to be there at the pier tonight, it was destiny. Fate had brought them together. Victor sat thinking about what could have possibly happened if he had not been here tonight. Would Yuuri have drowned? It was too much to think about, those vital seconds where Victor watched him jump, if Makkachin had not been pulling him he wouldn’t have seen it happen. He would have no idea. He could have continued his walk, oblivious to what was happening underneath the pier. It was too much to think about.

The sound of the shower turning off broke Victor’s thought process and he blinked and cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Can you pass me a towel, please, Victor?” Yuuri asked him quietly and Victor grabbed the biggest, most fluffiest towel he could find. It was warm from the heater as he passed it over and then he turned around, stepping outside for a moment before leaving him to dress. 

When the door finally opened, Yuuri stepped outside looking a lot more happier and healthier. “Thank you,” he said. “I… I’m feeling a lot better.” He was wearing the clothes Victor had left on the countertop. 

Victor smiled at him and pulled his own towel tighter around himself. “Do you think you’ll be okay while I...?” he asked, gesturing at the bathroom. 

Yuuri seemed to clamp up again. “Can I wait here?” he asked.

Victor nodded and then walked back into the bathroom, dropping his towel to the floor as he disappeared behind the shower curtain. He dropped his underwear over the edge of the tub and then turned the water on. He washed himself in record time, the water was burning hot on his icy skin even though it was only warm at best. He popped his head around the side of the curtain every so often to see Yuuri looking around unsurely, his face looking flushed and embarrassed.

“Was Vicchan your boyfriend?” Victor asked, remembering the name Yuuri had uttered after Victor had brought him back to consciousness.

“Oh,” Yuuri murmured, sounding a little uncomfortable. “N-no, Vicchan was my dog. A poodle just like Makkachin. The name is… Well, it’s short for Victor. Well, not really short. It’s still the same amount of syllables really, but in Japan we use these sort of… It doesn’t matter.”

Victor couldn’t believe his ears. This had to be fate. When you considered everything together, the dogs being the same breed, the dog’s name, Makkachin leading him to the pier… Something had brought the two of them together and Victor knew it was because Yuuri was precious. Someone needed to save him tonight and Victor had been chosen. Victor would protect him from now on, there was no other option.

With a renewed sense of purpose, Victor finished rinsing the sea smell out of his hair before shutting off the shower. “Yuuri, could I have a towel?” WIthin seconds a towel was presented to him and he gripped it tight. Once it was wrapped around his most private areas, Victor stepped out of the shower and smiled brightly at his new companion.

“I will get dressed in my bedroom and then get on with some cooking, okay Yuuri?” Victor said in a gentle voice. “I have a TV, Netflix, Prime…” He trailed off as he tried to think of other things he could distract the precious young man with. “I’m sure I have an old games console somewhere around here… Regardless, I won’t be long, I promise. I’ll get you a blanket and some cushions. Would you like some hot cocoa?” 

Yuuri looked a little overwhelmed at Victor’s words but nodded.

“Great! I’ve got plenty of things to make a nice festive drink for you, do you like cinnamon? And marshmallows?” 

Again, Yuuri didn’t speak, but he nodded in agreement.

“Замечательно (Wonderful!)” Victor exclaimed with a smile before he caught himself. “Sorry, Russian is my first language. I can’t help slipping back to it sometimes.”

Yuuri’s eyes sparkled a little. “I… I know the feeling,” he began in a fragile voice. His hands were buried in the long sleeves of Victor’s hoody which looked far too large for his small frame, but that only made him look far more endearing. “I slip back into Japanese all the time. I don’t even realise it until I see the blank stare of the customer I’m talking to…” He trailed off as tears sprung to his eyes again. 

Victor frowned at the sudden tears again. “That’s right, you said you lost your job… What was it you used to do, Yuuri? You don’t happen to have experience in customer service do you?” he asked with a hopeful smile.

“I w-was a waiter in a French restaurant,” Yuuri began tearfully. “I-I just don’t think I’m cut out to work with people. It makes me… I get nervous.” His eyes cast down to the floor.

“Oh, well, that’s okay, we all have weaknesses and strengths. Did you hear about the ice rink that’s just opened downtown? Maybe they’ll have some work there, I’ve seen their advertisements.” For some reason he wanted to keep to himself that it was his rink, he somehow didn’t want to intimidate the young man.

“Ice rink?” Yuuri repeated, brightening a little. “I haven’t skated since I was a child…” 

“You skate?” Victor asked, pleasantly surprised. “I...I’m a figure skater,” he announced proudly, secretly hoping to impress Yuuri and bring a smile to his face. 

“I can’t do much… I used to be able to do a couple of jumps, but it’s been about ten years since I’ve even tried.” He paused and looked down at his fingers as he fidgeted a little awkwardly. “When you say you’re a figure skating, do you mean like Olympic level professional?”

 

“Um, yes actually. I just won gold in Beijing this year. It’s my last year though, I’m officially retired. I’m getting too old for it now,” he explained. 

“Wow, gold?” Yuuri replied, feeling a little star struck. “That’s amazing. Yet, you’re spending your Christmas Eve with some loser who tried to kill himself?” He let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I’m sure you have better places to be.”

Victor’s smile faded at Yuuri’s words. He didn’t even know how to reply to that. Instead he stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. “I’m glad I was there to stop you,” he whispered, pulling him tight against his chest as he cherished his presence. “I don’t want to be anywhere else, I want to be right here with you.”

Yuuri froze at the sudden contact and then leaned into it. Despite the fact that Victor’s damp chest was getting Yuuri’s new clothes a little wet all over again, he didn’t care. He let himself cry. He sobbed harder than he ever had before in his life. “I’m sorry,” he muttered over and over again between gasps as he let himself melt against the other man’s body. “I just can’t cope anymore.” 

Victor’s heart clenched in his chest. “Let me help you,” he said, pulling out the embrace to look at Yuuri sincerely. “It was fate that I found you, I think together we’re meant to do something special or be something special. It can’t possibly be a coincidence that we met this way.”

“W-what do you mean?” Yuuri mumbled as he drew back and began to wipe at his tear-tracked cheeks. “Isn’t fate and destiny just made up to make us feel better about our lives?”

Victor shrugged. “Maybe, but I think I’d like to find out, wouldn’t you?” he asked. “Let me show you that life can be wonderful again, let me give you another chance. I feel like I was meant to be there, I was meant to save you and I have the means to help you. So please, don’t give up, Yuuri.”

“I…” He trailed off, uncertainty written all over his face. “You don’t even know me, I could be a horrible person or wanted for murder! You don’t know, Victor! I don’t deserve this.”

“How about you let me judge if you are likeable or not,” he said. “Besides, I don’t believe you could hurt anyone but yourself, and now that I know you, I’m not going to ever let you do that again.” He looked at him seriously. He meant it. Every word. “I think you’re a beautiful person, Yuuri. I just need to make you see what I see.”

The younger man recoiled from the words. He wasn’t ready to hear them yet. “I’ll let you get dressed anyway. Thanks Victor.” Then Yuuri was out the door before the other man could stop him.

Victor frowned as he watched Yuuri disappear downstairs and then busied himself getting dressed. He didn’t want to leave the other man for too long so he hurried, grabbing anything from his pyjama drawer. He hopped down the stairs and almost smacked face first into Yuuri who was waiting directly at the bottom, looking a little uneasy.

“Come on,” he said, linking their arms together. “I’ll make you some food and get you some cocoa.” He led Yuuri into the kitchen and Makkachin was there waiting for him, ready to be fed. “Can you feed her, Yuuri?” he asked, hoping to make the younger man feel useful as he started taking ingredients out of the fridge. “It’s just one of those tins from the cupboard here,” he said, pointing in the general direction of where he meant. “Is there anything you can’t eat?” he asked, debating what he could make that would be both yummy and quick as Yuuri looked like he was about to fall fast asleep on his feet.

“I don’t like spring onion…” Yuuri began in a quiet voice as he shuffled towards the cupboard Victor had indicated. “But I don’t have any allergies or anything.” He opened the door, much to Makkachin’s delight, and collected one of the tins from inside before looking around for her food bowl. With a small smile, he spotted it and picked it up from the floor. Once he’d filled it up full he turned and placed it in front of the cute little poodle, a proud smile plastered on his face.

“She’s really something,” Yuuri stayed quietly as he watched Makkachin eat up her food. “You’re lucky. I miss Vicchan every day.”

“Thank you, she’s been my best friend for the past 15 years, so I am a bit biased, but she is the best. It’s actually thanks to her that we met.” Victor smiled as he grabbed some ingredients. “Is a stir-fry okay?”

“Stir-fry would be lovely,” Yuuri replied with a smile before standing awkwardly in the kitchen, looking for something to do with his hands. “Do you need help or should I get out of your way?”

“You’re not in my way, it’s quite nice to have some company to be honest,” he admitted. “I haven’t been living here long, so I haven’t really met anyone yet. See, fate sent me a friend.” He smiled kindly before dumping some ingredients in front of Yuuri and then passing him a knife to help.

The two of them cut the vegetables together and dumped it all into a wok and Victor took some time to create a familiar sauce and fry some chicken. It only took ten minutes at most but once it was all together it smelt delicious.

“Ita-daki-masu? That’s what you say right?” Victor asked as he handed Yuuri a bowl.

Yuuri managed to crack a small smile. “Kind of,” he said, not wanting to let Victor know that he had just butchered the word.

*** 

Victor made sure to strip his bed for Yuuri, he insisted that he would sleep in comfort and not on a sofa after his traumatic experience. He got him fresh sheets, made him a hot water bottle and called Makkachin to come and sleep on the bed. He put a cute film playing on the TV in the background and then bid him goodnight.

Victor settled on the sofa downstairs, it felt odd but at the same time it wasn’t an option for Yuuri to be down here by himself on his stuffy sofa. He lay awake for a long time, turning the events of the evening around his mind and feeling a little in shock as he finally caught up with what had actually happened. 

He had saved somebody’s life tonight.

He eventually fell into a light sleep, curled up on the sofa and worried about the man sleeping in his bed. 

***

It was dark and for a second Victor wondered why he had woken up. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. As he came around properly he realised there was a noise coming from upstairs. He crept up the stairs and hovered outside his bedroom. He expected that it was going to be something weird playing on netflix, but it was on the “Are you still watching…” screen. The noise was coming from Yuuri.

He was crying almost silently into Victor’s pillow.

Victor hesitated, that same feeling tugging at his heartstrings and for some reason he just couldn’t let it go. Instead, he ran back downstairs trying to make as little noise as possible and grabbed his pillow and blanket. He slowly pushed the door open and then smiled down at Yuuri kindly as he looked up in surprise. Victor lay his pillow on the floor next to the side where Yuuri was facing and then settled there. In a silent invitation he reached onto the mattress, his hand facing upwards and stretched towards Yuuri. 

For a moment Victor thought that Yuuri was not going to respond. But he eventually felt his hand be tugged slightly and then it was encased in heat. Yuuri was hugging his hand. His tears felt warm on Victor’s skin.

*** 

When Victor woke up the next morning his arm was completely dead, he sat up and gently removed it from Yuuri’s grasp and tried to keep quiet as he clenched his hand to his chest as he struggled to get the feeling back. Makkachin was already at his side and wagging her tail at him.

“Shhh,” he hushed before tiptoeing out of the room. He didn’t want to wake him. He had fallen asleep not long after lying on the floor, he had no idea how long the other man was awake and crying. He needed his rest.

Victor got dressed and made his way downstairs and followed his usual routine. Feed Makkachin, play with Makkachin, and walk Makkachin. He pulled on his running shoes, grabbed his wallet and left a note on the kitchen side for Yuuri - just in case.

He thought about Yuuri the entire walk and on the way back he made the choice to stop inside the seven-eleven that was around the corner from his house - he was surprised it was open since it was Christmas morning, but luck was on his side. He tied Makkachin up outside, gave her a pat on the head and then headed inside. 

He wasn’t quite sure what he was looking for, or even what type of thing Yuuri might like but he wanted to get him something. Victor had never had any experience with mental health issues, but he was pretty sure that Yuuri was suffering with some kind of depression or a similar illness. He just wanted to get him something to try and cheer him up. He guessed he would not be able to fix all of Yuuri’s problems, but he could at least make an effort to let him know that Victor cared about him and to make him feel better. In the end he left with a big box of chocolates, a cheesy mug with a poodle on it (what were the chances?!) and a bunch of unhealthy snacks that Victor would ordinarily never touch. It was something.

When he arrived home, Yuuri was sat on the sofa and holding a mug of something. He looked up when Makkachin ran into him and jumped onto the sofa, trying her best to lick his face in greeting.

“Makkachin!” he cried as the dog practically jumped on top of him. He held the mug high up, out of her reach so she didn’t knock the contents all over him. “Your paws are so cold!”

“Sorry,” Victor said, grabbing her by her collar and pulling her down. “She really likes you,” he laughed. “Good morning, Yuuri. Did you sleep okay?” he asked, despite knowing that he probably slept like shit in the strange bed, in a strange home and next to someone he had only met the night before.

“I slept okay,” Yuuri told him with a shrug. “Better than I expected. Thank you for…” He trailed off, not meeting Victor’s eyes and looking uneasy. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay,” Victor said, sitting down next to him. “I actually brought you some gifts, it’s christmas morning, you know.” He reached into the bag and pulled out the gifts, handing them to Yuuri with a heart-shaped smile. “Merry Christmas, Yuuri!”

“Oh,” Yuuri replied, a little dumbstruck by the surprise. “You really didn’t have to. You’ve done more than enough.” He looked down at the unwrapped presents, unable to stop the smile gracing his face. “I’ve never really celebrated Christmas before.” 

“Really?” Victor asked. “So we get to share your first christmas? That’s pretty special. I don’t have any huge plans, but I do have a turkey. I was planning to watch bad christmas movies all day.”

“That sounds nice,” Yuuri agreed with a small smile. “Are you sure I’m not stopping you from doing anything today?”

“Nope,” Victor promised. “In fact you're doing me a favour, I'll eat less turkey this way. Not like I need to stay in shape or anything anymore. But you know, it'll be nice to get to know you.” Victor had no idea what he was doing. But he knew he couldn't kick Yuuri out of his house on Christmas day, especially as he knew he had nowhere to go and if he was honest he didn't want to. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with Yuuri, but he knew that he needed a friend and Victor could be a friend to him.

“Okay, if you say so,” Yuuri agreed with a shrug of his shoulders.

The two of them then snuggled up under the blanket together on the sofa with Makkachin laying down by their feet. They watched back-to-back feel good Christmas films until Yuuri finally succumbed to the sleep that had evaded him the night before.

***

When Yuuri woke up, he and Victor enjoyed a large roast dinner with all of the trimmings. They ate happily and talked a little while they both fed Makkachin scraps under the table. Once they found themselves completely stuffed, Victor pushed himself up from the table and stretched.

“I think it’s time for our evening walk, do you agree, Makka?” he asked. “Would you like to come, Yuuri?”

“I’m okay here thank you,” Yuuri told him with a shake of his head. “I’d rather not go out into the cold if I can avoid it. As long as that’s okay with you?” 

“Of course it is. Just… make yourself at home, okay? I’ll try not to be long.” He hesitated before he left. He had subconsciously stepped forward and he had the urge to kiss the man on the forehead. He paused and immediately pulled away after realising what he had just been about to do. He stared down at Yuuri a little shocked before recovering.

Instead of inappropriately kissing the emotionally vulnerable house guest, Victor smiled and then grabbed his coat and pulled his boots on. It was pretty cold outside tonight and Victor had turned the heating up. Thinking about it, it probably wasn’t the best idea to take Yuuri outside when he was only just starting to relax at Victor’s. It might unsettle his anxiety again...

He bid Yuuri goodbye and left with Makkachin, thinking about Yuuri again and the confusing feelings that were brewing inside him. Yuuri was undeniably the sweetest, most wonderful person that Victor had ever met. He had known him 24 hours and he felt like he was falling deep. He wanted to make him happy... and he wanted to take care of him. He was beautiful, modest and he possibly had the worst luck in the world… but Victor knew he was meant to be there yesterday, he was meant to save Yuuri and this all just felt right.

Victor had never really had a proper relationship before. While he was skating he had been far too busy for anything past a casual fling or a summer romance, but he honestly felt like he could have something with Yuuri. He hoped the other man felt the same way too. Their shared experience of Yuuri’s attempted suicide was too much for Victor’s heart to let go. He wanted to show Yuuri all the love in the world. He wanted to save him. He knew it was probably wrong to feel that way - Yuuri was a person, not some project to help, or some damsel in distress. But at the same time, Yuuri was undeniably vulnerable.

The last 24 hours had been completely eye opening for Victor. He felt like his world had been turned upside down. Everything had changed. He wasn’t sure if he could go back to being by himself, to a world where Yuuri didn’t exist.

Feeling invigorated by his self-discovery, Victor basically skipped back to his house, ready to make a declaration of promise to Yuuri. To promise to try and understand him, to promise to learn to love him unconditionally, and to promise to always support him - especially now in his darkest hour.

Except when Victor got home, Yuuri was gone. The only thing left was a note scribbled on the back of the one he had left this morning. It said: _I’m sorry, I can’t do this. Thank you for trying. Don’t blame yourself._ There was something so ominous about the words and it had Victor tearing through the house looking for any sign of Yuuri, any sign that this was a joke. He wanted him to jump out and yell, “Got you!” But no such thing happened.

The house was empty. Yuuri was gone. Victor was alone.

Victor found himself on the floor, tears pouring from his face as he crushed the note to his chest. Nothing had ever hurt as much as this did. Victor’s heart was broken. He hadn’t been able to save Yuuri from himself.

Makkachin appeared at his side and looked at him confused and Victor sniffled and wiped his face. “Makkachin, what can I do?” he asked. Of course, the dog didn’t reply, but he turned and looked towards the door again. “Yes, come on, let’s go find him.” Victor wasn’t ready to give up on Yuuri, he just couldn’t.

He grabbed his car keys, let Makkachin in the back and left the front door unlocked in case Yuuri came back. Victor climbed into his car. As soon as he was there, looking at all of the sand, he just knew that Yuuri was back at the pier. Something was telling him that was where he had to go. 

Victor sped the whole way through the empty streets, looking obsessively around, but there was not a soul in sight. He pulled into the parking lot, to where this had all began yesterday and he let Makkachin out the back. “Go find, Yuuri!” he yelled and Makkachin ran off, barking and heading towards the pier.

Victor’s heart clenched as he saw Yuuri, sat on the railing in the distance. Makkachin made it there first and Victor watched as Yuuri turned, looking shocked that the dog was there. He hesitated and then turned around. He looked a mess, he was crying, his cheeks red, and he looked completely broken.

Victor ran faster than he ever had in his life. “Yuuri, please, don’t jump!” he yelled and finally, he made it to him. He flung his arms around him, stopping him from moving where he hovered at the edge. He held him securely.

“Victor, let me go,” Yuuri begged and he attempted to pull away.

“No, I won’t ever let you go!” he yelled. “Please, don’t try do this again. If you jump then I’ll jump in after you.” Victor was crying hard, shouting as his voice welled with emotion. His tears soaked into Yuuri’s back, into the clothes that Victor had gave him.

“You can’t save me, Victor!” he yelled, sobbing and his body shaking from the force of his tears. “This is just a fantasy! You can’t fix me. I’m broken! What happens after today? I have nowhere to go, no money, nothing!”

“Yuuri, please, just get down,” he begged. “We can figure it out together. I won’t give up on you!”

“You should, I’m nobody, I’m worthless. You should just give up on me.”

“I can’t. Please, just get down!” He pulled back, using his weight to tip Yuuri backwards. The two of them fell onto the pier, crashing to the floor. They both stumbled to get to their feet as Victor gripped at Yuuri’s arms.

“Let me go!” Yuuri screamed, trying to pull out of his grasp but Victor wouldn’t.

“I won’t ever. I’m not going to let you kill yourself!” he screamed. “I’m meant to be here, I have to save you! Yuuri, it’s not a coincidence, this is fate. I promised that I wouldn’t let you hurt yourself again, and I’m going to keep that promise.”

“Oh, stop it,” Yuuri spat. He began banging his fists weakly onto the other man’s chest. “All this talk of destiny, fate. It’s rubbish, Victor! You’ve known me one day!” He panted, his chest heaving. “You’d never cope with my life. I can’t even cope with it, Victor, please, just let me go. Try and understand. You have to understand! Just… Let. Me. Go.” 

“Yuuri, no!” Victor was wide-eyed at the man's words. He knew now more than ever that he could not let him go. “Why are you doing this? Make me understand why you think this is your only option. Please, Yuuri, don't give up.” Victor was begging from the bottom of his heart and from the pit of his soul, he just wanted Yuuri to be okay and he wasn't okay and Victor couldn't fix it. Victor learnt that was the worse feeling in the world.

“Because I’m broken, Victor!” Yuuri cried, tears spilling down his cheeks. “I’ve tried living in this world and I’m not strong enough. I’ve suffered enough. I’m tired of the pain. It’s cruel. I can’t do it anymore. If you could feel even a little of what I go through everyday, you’d understand.”

“But… but…” Yuuri was right. Victor didn't understand. He could not comprehend what he was going through, what it must feel like to suffer every day, after all, he was so fortunate in life. “I don't want you to die,” he spluttered, feeling broken himself as fat tears fell from his eyes. “Please, let me try and help you. This is fate. Let me prove to you I can make you happy. Please, Yuuri. Don't try and leave me when we've just met. When we could be something special.” 

“This is fate?” Yuuri scoffed. He rolled his eyes and let out a bitter laugh. “You keep saying that, but you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.” He rubbed at his tear-stained cheeks with his hand, looking over at Victor with tired eyes. “Fate doesn’t exist. Things just happen. Life can be hard and difficult for some of us. I’m a failure. I’ll never be anything more than a failure, Victor.”

“I don't believe that for one second. I've only known you for 24 hours and even I can see how wonderful you are. You are smart and funny and you make me happy, Yuuri. If you're such a failure then why do you make me so happy? If you die I'll never forgive myself. We'll never know what could have been. Just give me a chance. Let me help you. I can help. You deserve to _live_.”

“If I deserve to live like you say and it’s destiny that we met, why don’t you prove it?” Yuuri challenged, puffing up his chest a little as he squared up to the other male. “Show me some kind of divine sign that I’m supposed to be here and I’ll go back with you.”

The way Yuuri was trying to defend his decision to kill himself felt like it was cutting into him like a knife. He didn't know what to do. How could he convince Yuuri that he meant every word he was saying?

In a panicked decision, worrying about it being his last chance to convince the man, Victor closed the space between them and kissed Yuuri. “Because I already love you,” he said, pulling away to look into his wide, surprised eyes.

Unable to do much else, Yuuri recoiled. He stared at Victor unblinking until he felt a drop of something soft and cold on his cheek. Yuuri blinked and reached up to rub the offending item away—that was when he noticed it.

A sudden burst of snow had erupted around them. Victor’s hair had become saturated with the white substance. He looked around puzzled. It didn’t make any sense. The skies had been clear just a moment ago.

“Victor… It’s snowing,” Yuuri stated hollowly.

Victor smiled through his tears and let out a broken laugh because how was this possible. It was destiny. “Yuuri, it's snowing!” he explained and then hugged him close. “Now do you believe me?”

“I… I don’t know anymore,” Yuuri sobbed as he burst into another set of tears. He tumbled forwards into Victor’s arms and tucked his head under the Russian man’s chin. “I’m so lost, Victor. Do you… Do you really think you can help me?”

“I want to try. If I have to fight every day to try and make you smile then I'll do it. Just give me that chance, Yuuri,” he pleaded with him.

“O-okay,” Yuuri stuttered out between heavy breaths. “I’ll… I’ll try too.” 

“I'm not expecting it will get better over night, I know I can't make it all better, but I promise I will be there on nights like tonight  when you need someone the most,” he promised.

Yuuri nodded, not sure why Victor was helping him or if he was some kind of angel, but he finally felt like there was hope.

“Let's go home,” Victor said and Yuuri took his hand. The two of them walked off the pier together. Never to return.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated! ❤️


End file.
